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Monday, Jan. 5, 2004 - 6:20 pm

Jesus. I am so tired. This morning, after giving myself a 20 minute pep-talk in the form of smacking the damned snooze button and cursing at my alarm clock, I had to physically drag my sister out of bed as well. I don’t think I’ve mentioned, but my sister is also temping at my place of employment until she secures a job as a physician’s assistant. We’ve been sharing a room since September, and if she doesn’t find a job and move out soon, I might be moved to do something. It certainly won’t be to secure a permanent job of my own and move out, but something will happen … most likely in the form of a whole lotta bitchin’.

So, working in the same place, we commute together. Our fellow bus riders think we’re a couple of lesbians, as we look nothing alike and yell at each other for the whole ride. Things like “Holy CRAP were you snoring up a storm last night!” and “Are those my socks? Why are you always wearing my shit?’ and “Well, if someone would have just turned off the television and gone to bed at a decent hour …” and “Did you let the dog out/turn off the iron/lock the door?” Only our favorite bus driver knows the truth, as we gave him a card with at $10 Dunkin’ Donuts gift certificate in it, signed “The Witch Sisters, Glinda and Elphaba.” He loves us. And we love him. He’s the grooviest bus driver that ever was.

Anyway, my sister and I were pathetic as we dragged our sorry asses to the bus stop today. It’s four blocks down to the main road where we catch the bus. As we grumbled past the houses of our neighbors, several of them pulled out of their driveways, heading out on their morning commute. I jabbed my umbrella viciously at every car that passed me, hissing "You fucker! Do I know you? Gimme a ride!" It’s so not neighborly. And only the woman across the street has ever given me a ride. She’s my favorite neighbor. Obviously.

We finally made it to the main road, where we saw our bus approaching the stop a block to our right. We started tearing across the intersection, but then we saw our favorite bus driver through the windshield, giving us the two-handed “whoa, whoa” signal. So we stopped hustling quite so fast, and as we climbed onto the crowded bus, he leaned back, patted his Dunkin’ Donut-filled belly and said, “You two don’t need to run, I would never leave you stranded!”

We’re his favorite. I’m sure the rest of our bus hates us, but … well, whatever. I really only need for the driver to be on my side, you know? And this driver? He loves him some donuts and coffee and a sleepy-assed smiles from the two always-running-late chicks every morning. So we got a good thing goin’ on, my sister and I and the groovy bus driver. Because as tired as my ass is, he always makes me smile. And smiling on public transportation in New York is a rare thing indeed.

 

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